" I don't know what I'm doing with my life"- Lets be real, no one does.

Once every week at the office, there's this moment of self-doubt, an existential emergency mode that I slip into questioning my life choices until that moment. I hate this mode because it totally affects my judgment; making me think all these negative points about me are real. In this phase, even if someone states some pretty obvious facts about my work that are positive, I think that they are just saying that to make me feel better.


I see people who come to work totally sorted, on time, work is done on time, no family issues, no issues at all, with a routine set in stone, I think, what a shabby piece of @#!$ I am. At 28 years of age, I'm still figuring !@#4 out.


It's not restricted to the work-space; in my life, every small hiccup is exaggerated as a complete failure on my part. This again makes me feel even worse and affects my confidence even more. This becomes a vicious cycle that runs continuously.


But over the past few months, I've been on a deep dive into self-development.  Weirdly, it's like the universe came through with the answers for why only I am this messed up. All the people I revered went through some challenges that revealed their true issues. They actually don't have anything sorted, they thought so or I thought so, but life had other plans. I'm not happy they suffered but I learned to stop comparing myself with them. I'm on my own journey and they are on theirs. This is just a "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome and everyone, literally everyone, goes through it.



And like this, I learned that the changes in my thoughts became so massive that looking back at my life I can tell what were the things that held me up. Maybe they can help you:

1. First, we need to stop playing the victim-

 This is hard to accept but it's true. Playing the victim is a great self-defence strategy to keep you from facing some hard facts. This is a very toxic state of mind. Some people go their whole lives thinking they had no power over their lives. Some even lie to others, worse, themselves that they are a victim of fate. I honestly feel sorry for these people. Learn to take credit for the good stuff and the bad.


What happens might not be under your control, what lesson you take from it and how you respond to that is even more important.



2. You cannot control everything-

Life is something you will never figure out, ever. It's not going to happen. We have to make peace with that. Its the most beautiful, coordinated chaos. The beauty of not having control over every single outcome is such a weight lifted off your shoulders. Just let go and play your role to your best capacity. Don't know what you are doing with your life? No biggie, I'm a good person, I try my best, I can sleep with a good conscience, I really gave my 100% to that project, I'll try better next time.; that should help us get through each day with some gradual improvement. Trust me, one day they all add up.



3. Focus on the experience, not the result:

I've been doing some reading and this life-changing book called "Atomic Habits" by James Clear has made me realize that the way we prioritize things in life has so much to do with our general happiness.

It's not what you want to achieve, but who you wish to become.

When your intentions are in the right place, life doesn't seem so burdensome. When your core, the foundation of your person is something you are happy with, then whatever you do in your life is just experiences, and whether you fail at it or succeed at it doesn't make you question your destination. How that journey transpired becomes more important.

I just try my best and hope for the best. This doesn't mean I'm not accountable or responsible. It means I'm not expecting a particular outcome. I'm focused on how I make that experience.

And its the most beautiful lesson of adulthood I have learned.

This means I can stop obsessing over the outcome of everything and my value based on the outcome.



A portion of my life I spent thinking that nothing in life has meaning; it's just random occurrences stitched together. Then, the other, I am living in the belief that everything is connected and has a meaning.


I guess it has to be a mixture of both.


Now, I won't say I'm healed of these anxious phases, but I'm definitely more reasonable when I criticize myself.



I don't feel like crap when I fail, I learn to be better. I don't let failure define me, I make sure it adds value to my life.



Ultimately, it's okay if you don't know what you're doing with your life. seriously! Be on the lookout for a match. If you fail at something, try again, try something else, even when you are 60 or 70. Its never too late to try and improve, even if its a little bit.



Also, a passion is not a soul mate that you die with; it can change, move, evolve, or break up with you. So don't take everything so seriously and feel terrible when something you were hoping to be the One life-defining thing doesn't work out. It's not supposed to be that way, all your experiences, even the failures are important to what kind of person you want to become and what lessons you take from them.

13 year old rape victim harassed to marry her molester

                                         WHAT THE HELL???





I am in a state of shock. Today I read an article in the Deccan Herald that baffled me out of my senses. A 13 year old rape victim and her family were being harassed by their community for not getting the young girl married to the person who raped her.
People refuse to work with her father, even civic bodies are forcing her family to discontinue repair work at their house and said that they will continue only when the family gives in to the community's demands. Syed Shakeel, the 23-year-old rape accused and certain relatives of his who are also members of the Ramachandrapuram Masjid committee, are the cause for the plight of the family. Sayed kareem, father of the 13 year old girl has written a letter to the Karnataka High Court chief justice and the Karnataka State Commission of Protection of Child Rights conveying their plight as the police refuse to take his complaints. 

The family faces mental harassment on a daily basis not only by their own community but also by government bodies like the police and the BBMP. So sorry is their state that writing a letter seems to be their last hope to get justice. Not only is this enough, the girl is treated differently in her school and the parents of her peers brand her as a "Bad influence" and encourage their children not to mingle with the her.

Our country has no right whatsoever to boast about culture, morality and respect for women when such shameful incidents happen everyday. The state of women is the most pathetic in the world being the worst country in the whole world for a woman to live in according to recent polls. In India a rape is committed every 54 minutes, molestation every 26 minutes, Kidnapping or abduction every 43 minutes, Eve-teasing every 51 minutes, dowry death every 1 hour 42 minutes, Criminal offense against women every 7 minutes.

We made a huge deal out of a small misunderstanding at the Olympics and were gravely "embarrassed" by the incident. If there was a competition for the country that gives the most shit about the most nonsensical things ever to exist on earth then India would come first hands down. Why isn't our government getting embarrassed by the fact that our country is The Worst place for a woman to exist. What kind of embarrassment can top that? NOTHING!

What kind of individual would blame a rape VICTIM to be a BAD INFLUENCE? The kind of individual who has neither soul nor brain and these individuals make the majority of the population and society. Therefore rid yourself of a soul and brain if you come to realize you live here because if you have compassion, an open mind and can think you are screwed. Open mindedness is a sin, for your information, never think beyond what is being told to you. Never question, never challenge, your lives will become miserable like that of the 13 year old girl who is made to suffer for no bloody fault of hers but that she is a girl and challenges society to lead a normal life.

For every problem we have a solution, or it seems. If you are molested, it is because you failed to cover yourself up or to dress "decently". Don't wear 'provocative' clothes they said. If you are raped it is because you were provocative they said. WHAT THE HELL??? So ,my dear society, are you telling me that a 13 year old school CHILD "provoked" this  grown man to rape her(yes RAPE her) and impregnate her? Read this slowly and how many ever times you can till the gravity of the truth sinks in and slaps you hard thrice in the face.

Instead of getting to the root of the problem we are shown how to cover it up with pathetic excuses. Logical reasoning is taboo in this country. who will waste time to think, that too on women, right? No wonder we are the worst country for women where they are treated worse than animals, like a commodity.

Wake up people!! If you are a human being and are capable of logical reasoning ask you self this : is it justified that you be held responsible for being raped and that it is "the right thing to do" to go back to the person who molested you?

Think! Think, before you are swallowed by the brainless ideologies of our society.

Spread the word to your friends about the plight of this girl and the injustice she and her family is facing.

Educate yourselves! check this out http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/whymythsexist2.php.

 Here is the information about  Aruna shanbaug, of the few rape cases that are known, I cannot digest the magnitude of injustice done to her . Its sad that a majority of these women have died or suffered silently because they are scared or confused or made to suffer because people thought it was their fault and that's why we don't know about it!) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aruna_Shanbaug_case

Other articles that talk about injustice with regard to Rape victims http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2006-05-07/india/27789632_1_victims-of-sexual-violence-human-rights-judiciary

Please excuse any grammatical mistake and please let me know about it so that it will help me express myself in a way that people can understand easily.

A new start.

Today is the first day of my new blog.

Hope it gets better from hereon!

Cheers!